Things Teenage Girls Say – Part One

I coach 13-year-olds how to play volleyball; and when I look back on my athletic career and learning how to play, there are plenty of things that I can point out as to what has made me the person I am today. Work ethic, determination, and the desire to succeed – just to name a few. But there’s one thing that I completely forgot about since I have grown into an adult:

Teenage girls are weird.

There have been an abundance of things said to me at practices where I have either had to take a moment to comprehend what was just verbalized or to catch my breath from laughing. Least to say, I have left practices multiple times to call my mother and apologized for my adolescence years.

Some of my girls want to be popular, some want to be good athletes, and the rest? Well they just don’t give a damn. How can I tell they don’t give a damn? Well, let’s just roll through my growing collection of “Things Teenage Girls Say.”

I want to be a jellyfish… then I wouldn’t have to ever wear pants.

I like where your head’s at, kid. But jellyfish? Really? Who comes up with jellyfish when you live in a land locked state? What about something like a bear… or a coyote? No? Jellyfish it is then.

I have a boyfriend! Well, I mean I haven’t met him in person yet. We just face time.

“Hello, Catfish? Yes, do you do a teenage edition?”

Oh my god, she is so not wearing a bow. Everyone knows bows are my thing. I’m mad at her now. We’re no longer speaking, like – ever.

Yes… that’s, uh, reasonable. I guess? What if I started wearing a bo…. never mind. We all know that’s never going to happen.

Your hair… it’s just so… HAIRY. I’ve never seen someones hair so hairy before.

I still don’t know what this means. It astounds them and they can’t get enough of it. But apparently there are different levels of hairy hair… and I just… I just can’t.

Don’t worry, you’ll be a huge fan of my husband, J. Beibs, by the end of the season!

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