Wait, Did You Really Mean to Say That?

As a new kid in a new city, I have grown extremely comfortable when it comes to doing things on my own. This even includes going to the bar. Be it for a trivia night, sports game, or because I really need a drink, I have no issues sitting myself at the bar and making conversation with the bartender and the occasional strangers who choose to sit near me. My favorite, however, is the conversations that come from guys with poor social skills.

Whether these guys intentionally meant to be offensive is something that I’m not sure of… but in doing so, they unintentionally landed themselves on my blog. These following lines are completely real and have been said to me in the prior span of three weeks.

I present to you the top five lines I have heard while at a bar on my own:

You clearly don’t believe in true love, do you?

Guy:  How many times have you moved?

Me: I’ve moved cross country a few times and just came out here because I could.

Guy: What was his name?

Me: Excuse me? I never moved for a guy.

Guy: Well you clearly don’t believe in true love, do you?

We saw you just sitting here and thought you could use some friends for a night.

Guy 1: How are you doing tonight?

Me: Good! How about yourself?

Guy 2: We’re good!

Guy 1: We just thought that maybe you were lonely so we came over.

Me: Well I’m okay, but you’re welcome to join me if you wish!

Guy 2: Yeah, we saw you just sitting here and thought you could use some… friends… for a night.

Are you really watching the game? I thought you were just trying to look appealing.

Guy: So who are you rooting for?

Me: The Raiders! But I’m already aware of the fact that they’re going to lose.

Guy: Wait… so are you really watching the game? I thought you were just trying to look appealing.

You look like a girl who can touch her toes.

Guy: You’re really tall! Did you play any sports?

Me: Yeah! I still play some volleyball but I also used to row.

Guy: Well if this doesn’t sound too forward, you really look like a girl who can touch her toes.

I’m actively trying to make sure no other guy talks to you.

Me: I’m just here to watch the football game.

Him: Well I want to take you to a better bar.

Me: I appreciate the gesture, but I’m okay. Thanks though!

Him: You don’t get it, I’m c*ck blocking the sh*t out of you until you want to leave.

Me: Excuse me?

Him: I’m actively trying to make sure no other guy talks to you.

I cannot make this trash up.

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