My Horse is Bigger than Yours

So this is one of my biggest pet peeves in the existence of ever: the “my horse is bigger than yours” game. There are some circumstances that you are allowed to brag about without fear of the ever obvious eye-roll, but those stories shouldn’t be downgraded due to a few dumb friends. This post is for all you story-toppers, one-uppers, and story-embellishers everywhere – cut it the hell out.

Let’s say you’re at dinner with a few friends, catching up and having a few brewskis. All of a sudden the conversation turns on you and what you’ve been up to and you think “oh this is a great time to tell my friends a few cool accomplishments!” But your excitement is short lived when that one friend, let’s call him Jim, begins to interrupt your good cheer with how he’s done the same things – just bigger and better. Now your mentality has changed from “my friends will be so happy for me!” to “what the hell is your problem, Jim?”

I have a habit of being really blunt with my friends; so whenever Jim decides to chime into my story, my automatic response is “I’m not playing this game with you.” Because that’s all it is to Jim – a game. A game with the goal to have the best story/experience in the end. Now while it is rather easy to tolerate the Jim’s of the world, it’s his sister Jennifer you want to look out for. You know Jennifer, the friend who’s stories are always so much worse than yours, demanding to always be in the pity limelight.

Everyone has had their ups and downs of life, some which are obviously more drastic than others; but what kind of sick person thinks that it is okay to make light of someone else’s pain by saying it’s “nothing” compared to theirs? I have had a recent run-in with my “friend” Jennifer and, as aggravating as it was, all it did was remind me that I don’t need to put down someone else’s life to validate my own.

Whatever happens to you – positive or negative – it happens to you. Not anyone else. No one knows what you have gone through and for these “friends” to defeat your accomplishments or pour salt into a wound just for the satisfaction of being “better” is sick. These Jims and Jennifers might have some silver lining when it comes down to being a good friend, but just remember this: your experiences are yours, and no one can take them away from you.

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