Instant Crazy: Just Add Alcohol

Some of my friends created a brilliant “Definitive Rulebook on Females” a few years ago. Well, they use a different word for females, but regardless it’s hilarious and highly spot on. Within my group of friends, these rules are quoted quite often; someone drops a rule reference basically whenever a girl says something completely left field. But the rule quoted most often (besides “no excuses, play like a champion”) is Rule #1:

Now I can see how this might come off a bit catty seeing how I am a female, but I will not deny the fact that I have had my crazy moments throughout my time in college. Granted those moments have become less and less as I’ve grown older, but they still happen from time to time. Why? Because I drink.

During the past few months of enjoying my final term of college and my first “summer break” in 4 years, I have witnessed some of the upmost crazy that my female friends and acquaintances have to offer. When does it all happen? When they drink.

We all know that alcohol is a depressant and changes the way you think, but it does something extra to girls. It makes them that much more delicate. Even the most level-headed girl will become a bomb that can be set off with just one wrong move or word. Lately I have been on the receiving end of the crazy spectrum and all I can say is: it’s freaking hilarious. It does make me feel bad for everyone I have acted insane towards in the past few years, but what some people choose to get worked up over is ridiculous and rather annoying.

This kind of crazy, or drunk crazy, is like the ‘Real World’ come to life: ie. it’s entertaining as long as you’re watching from a safe distance. As soon as you’re being hit with the crazy wave, game over. But this is where you actually have a few options: you can try help solving the problem (boring/time consuming), “accidentally” make the problem worse (dangerous), or just tell them they’re insane and laugh it off (my favorite approach, but also dangerous). Be careful though, because once you trigger the tears, you better run for your damn life or else your night is OVER, buddy.

Everyone has their own form of “crazy” stored up, but drunk-crying-girl-crazy is quite possibly the worst thing to deal with. Ever. So take this as a hint, girls. Unless you want to be seen as that crying mess that no one wants to deal with because you’re so psychotic after a few vodka cranberries, watch what you’re drinking and try to stay in control.

Who knows, maybe people will actually like you and think you’re normal at the end of the night.

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